Happy Parenting
Transcript
Title：Happy Parenting
Heading: Chapter 1 Looking forward to the new baby
Scene: At room of clinic for ultrasound examination, Mr. Wong (Tom) helps his pregnant wife Mrs. Wong (May) to lie down on bed.
Doctor: Mrs. Wong, please lie down slowly. I will perform an ultrasound examination for you.
May: Thank you.
Doctor: You are welcome.
Scene: Doctor performs ultrasound examination for May, close up ultrasonography of baby. May and Tom look at the ultrasonography and smile to each other.
Doctor: Mrs. Wong, everything is fine and your baby looks active.
May: Thank you, doctor.
Scene: Doctor sits opposite to Mr. and Mrs. Wong and is writing medical record.
Doctor: Mr. Wong, please make an appointment for the next check-up with the nurse outside.
Tom: Thanks, doctor.
Doctor: You are welcome.
Scene: Mr. and Mrs. Wong stand up and leave the room, close up belly of May.
Baby (Narrator): Dad and mum, I will be born a few months later. Are you well-prepared for that?
Heading: Chapter 2 The roles of parents
Scene: Tom covers the sharp edges of cabinet with corner plastic protectors in living room.
May: Tom, what are you doing?
Tom: Baby will soon learn to walk. We need to put protective measures to prevent baby getting hurt.
May: Silly Tom, there is still plenty of time before the baby can walk. We can add these measures later. For now, the most important thing is the baby cot. Still, you are so smart to prepare early!
Scene: Tom looks at and smiles with May.
Sub-heading: Safe and Comfort Home
Scene: Tom implements different home safety measures for child, covers the sharp edges of cabinet with corner plastic protectors, ties up curtain cords and stows chairs away.
Baby (Narrator): I am too small to learn about danger, so you have to prepare safety measures taken into account my developmental stage and the environment to avoid me getting hurt. Besides food, clothing and a safe and comfortable home environment, we babies also have other needs, for example, a harmonious family and solid financial basis are all very important.
Sub-heading: Harmonious family relationship
Scene: Father-in-law, mother-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Wong enter baby room. They see moving mobile hanging above baby cot and feel excited.
Mother-in-law: The baby bed is very lovely!
May: Yes, Tom has put a lot of effort to decorate it.
Tom: I can't do this without May!
Father-in-law: Working together makes things much easier.
Scene: In living room, May and mother-in-law are preparing for meal. Everyone sit down to have meal.
May: After I give birth to my baby and go back to work, could you help take care of the baby?
Mother-in-law: Sure. I am always happy to take care of my grandchild. Remember to tell me if you have any concerns. We are a family!
Tom: Did you hear what mum said?
Scene: May nods her head. Everyone has meal happily; intersperses with pleasant scenes of Mr. and Mrs. Wong.
Baby (Narrator): We babies are scared of arguments in the family. We will cry aloud. If you want me to grow up healthily, you need to make me feel secure. The way to do it is simple: to love me. Get along with your family and maintain a harmonious relationship.
Sub-heading: Good financial basis
Scene: Tom works busily at office.
Baby (Narrator): Dad, I know that you work hard to raise me up. However, without a regular income, there will not be a stable environment for me. Therefore, you have to prepare for the extra spending after my birth.
Scene: Tom buys diaper at pharmacy.
Baby (Narrator): Like diapers and other baby products and education expenses as well. If the burden is too much, you have to be realistic and think of ways to save money. If needed, you can also apply for financial assistance.
Scene: May is waiting bus at bus station while a smoking man comes, May frowns and covers nose with her hands. Then, a man is having big bite on hamburger and drinking soft drink while he queues up, close up big belly of this man.
Baby (Narrator): Why does this person keep forcing mum and me to breathe in second-hand smoke? This fat guy does not keep a balanced diet and has got a big belly.
Scene: Then, a man talking loudly on his phone comes.
The man: Brother, you are a man. I don't need to wait for you every time for 15 minutes, right?
Baby (Narrator): Also, this person has no civic ethics. He talks loudly on his phone in the public. I don't want to be like them when I grow up.
Sub-heading: Be role model
Scene: Tom is running in the park while May is reading at home. Then they have meal together.
Baby (Narrator): Baby is like a sheet of blank paper. We follow what the adults do. So if dad and mum can be my role models, watching their health and developing good habits, I will do so as well.
Scene: Mrs. Lee and her daughter Ching Ching arrive at lobby, meet with Tom and May.
Sub-heading: Give child guidance and support
Ching Ching: Good morning, auntie and uncle.
May: Good girl. Good morning, Ching Ching. Good morning, Mrs. Lee.
Scene: Mrs. Lee, May and Tom say good morning to each other. Then Mrs. Lee goes out with Ching Ching, Ching Ching drops her toy on the floor and asks Mrs. Lee earnestly to pick up the toy for her.
Baby (Narrator): In daily life, I hope mum and dad could be my role models in learning, acquiring virtues and values. When I face any difficulties, please give me appropriate guidance and support. So I could learn how to solve problems independently.
Ching Ching: Mummy, please pick it up for me.
Mrs. Lee (smiles and leans forward): Ching Ching, pick it up by yourself. Mummy knows that you can do it.
Scene: Ching Ching agrees and picks up the toy by herself. Mrs. Lee answers happily.
Mrs. Lee: You did it. Good job!
May: Ching Ching really listens to her mum.
Tom: Yes.
Scene: Ching Ching talks with a security guard.
Ching Ching: Please open the door, uncle.
Security guard: No problem.
Scene: Ching Ching looks back and waves goodbye to the security guard, May and Tom.
Ching Ching: Goodbye.
May and Tom: Goodbye.
May touches her belly: If our baby could be as nice as Ching Ching that will be great!
Scene: Tom smiles and nods in agreement.
Sub-heading: Encourage and support child
Scene: Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong are sitting in the living room. Tom speaks and sings towards May's belly.
Tom: Baby, it is nearly time for your birth. Are you eager to see us? (Singing out) Sunset is magnificent…oh oh oh.
May: Baby, how is daddy's singing?
Tom: Is it nice?
Baby (Narrator): When I grow up, I would like dad and mum to chat with me often and sing for me. Besides supporting my education, I hope you will also listen to me, support me emotionally and encourage me to try new things. All of these are very important to my development.
Sub-heading: Parents need to equip themselves constantly
Scene: At a prenatal class of Maternal and Child Health Centre, a nurse and all expectant parents stand in front of a table; a bathtub, and items for bath and a doll are on the table, the nurse is demonstrating how to wrap the doll with a towel and dress the doll.
Nurse: After learning how to change clothes for baby, it's your turn to practice baby bath and diaper changing.
Scene: May and Tom chat with Mr. and Mrs. Chan while practice bathing and changing diaper for baby.
Mrs. Chan: Mrs. Wong. I saw Mr. Wong was skillful in bathing the baby. He must be practicing a lot!
May: He is much more involved than me. I could hand the baby to him in the future!
Tom: Mr. Chan is also doing a good job at changing diaper.
Mr. Chan: Not quite. Only when I am using this baby doll, I am afraid that I would freak out when holding a real baby that will move and cry.
May: No worries, I believe that you will get used to it after more practices. That's why I am planning to join a breastfeeding class after I have completed this prenatal class. To learn more about baby care, when our baby is born, we can also join the parenting workshops recommended by the nurses!
Mrs. Chan: Learn more, so it's easier to communicate with baby and our relationship would be better.
Tom: Yes, when our babies grow up, we need to understand and prepare for their changes in development as well as in interests. Therefore, continuous learning is very important. In daily life, we could also look for new knowledge and skills in child care through media including books and internet.
Mr. Chan: Let's join classes together!
May: Yes!
Narrator: Parenting is a life-long commitment. We cannot give the responsibility of education and child care to others, such as school, relatives, or housemaids. We need to spend time to love and care for them.
Heading: Chapter 3 Having realistic expectation
Scene: At Susan's home, Susan is tidying up the house, May is sitting on sofa.
Susan: I am sorry, the two kids were playing Star Wars in the living room this morning. I did not manage to tidy this mess before you arrived.
May: It is fine. Are these clothes dry? Let me help you.
Susan: Don't worry. Please take a seat. I have got used to being busy every day after I have two kids.
May: Susan, how could you have your own time when you are so busy? Are you still having dance lessons?
Susan: Look at this. How could I make time for lessons? Let's talk about it later.
Scene: May looks worry.
May: After my baby is born. Do I need to give up all of my interests?
Scene: Susan stops tidying up and sits down on the sofa.
Susan: You can't say so. There is also fun in child care. And of course, there are gains and losses in having a child. Parents have to learn how to adapt to the new life. Whether it is a “gain” or a “loss”? It depends on your view point and expectation.
Just like this half glass of water, some people would ask why it isn't full; some would be satisfied for having half a glass to drink. When you can look at things positively and set realistic expectations for your children and yourself, you will accept the “gains” and “losses”. In the future, you can even help your children develop positive attitude in life.
May: Will my child be as easy-going as yours?
Susan: You have only seen the bright side. He used to be difficult, but when I am familiarizing with his temperament, taking care of him has become much easier. Every baby is unique. Besides the differences in appearance, they also have different temperament and pace in development. As parents we should spend much time and patience to understand them. Don't worry too much. Talk to me if you have any problems. I can tell you everything I know.
May: Thank you, I want to know …
Narrator: There is no single right way to raise your children. Parents know their children best, so do not worry too much and feel doubtful about your way of child care. No child or parent is perfect. If you have any difficulties, face them and actively seek for solutions.
Scene: At the Labour Ward of a hospital, there is a sound of baby crying. At home, May put baby down in the baby cot slowly, Tom strokes baby gently. They watch the sleeping baby, look at and smile to each other.
Baby (Narrator): I can finally lie on my bed prepared by mum and dad. I feel great!
Scene: May is sitting alone in the living room, with a small frown creased her forehead. Tom opens the door, holding daily necessities, and he looks doubtful after looking at May.
Baby (Narrator): Today, mum brought me to the Maternal and Child Health Centre. I don't know why she looks upset when she is back.
Tom: Darling, are you feeling unwell? You look confused.
May: I am fine. Today, I took baby to the Maternal and Child Health Centre. He weighs lighter than other babies.
Tom: Did the doctor say anything about it?
May: No, but all the other babies are plump. While ours looks particularly small. Is it because I don't know how to care my baby?
Tom: Of course not! Every baby is unique. Don't compare with others. Everyone says you have been taking good care of our baby. He is very healthy.
May: Really?
Tom: Yes. Let's take a look at our baby first.
Narrator: If parents are worried about the growth of their baby. They can ask the doctors and nurses of Maternal and Child Health Centre. Do not blame your way of child care.
Heading: Chapter 4 Managing postnatal mood problems
Scene: May is looking at the sleeping baby. Suddenly, she looks sad and sheds tears. The telephone rings at this time, she goes to living room for answering the phone.
May: Hello.
Susan: May, it is me, Susan. You sound a bit unhappy.
May: I am fine, but for some reason. I suddenly cried when I was looking at my baby.
Susan: Are you okay? Does it happen frequently?
May: Yes, I didn't sleep well these nights. What should I do?
Susan: Don't worry too much. I had the same experience after I gave birth to my first child. You have to tell Tom, or talk to me when you feel anything wrong. Don't hide it.
May: Okay, I will. Thank you.
Susan: Right, I am planning to visit your baby and you tomorrow. Let's talk in details when we meet.
May: Okay, see you tomorrow, bye.
Susan: Bye.
Scene: May hangs up the phone. Tom arrives home after shopping, finds that May looks unwell and shows concern for her condition.
Tom: Darling.
May: Darling.
Tom: Darling, you didn't sleep last night. Why don't you go and take a rest?
May: I can't sleep. There is still a lot of housework left to do. I am just thinking about cleaning the windows. They haven't been cleaned since our baby was born. Later, I will have to bathe and change diaper for baby. There won't be enough time.
Scene: May stands up rapidly, Tom takes hold of her.
Tom: Hey, they can wait. How about taking a nap first? Let me bathe the baby, I will wake you up if I need your help, okay?
Scene: May nods her head.
Narrator: It is common for postnatal women to be emotional. Family members need to care for them, listen to their needs and to help them soothe their emotional distress. Besides, new mothers should try to make a balance among child care, rest and family life. And reduce non-essential housework. The Department of Health has produced leaflet and video about “Understanding Postnatal Emotional Problems”. Please feel free to ask the Maternal and Child Health Centre about the resources.
Scene: At the pantry of an office, Amy sees Tom holding cup and going out of his mind.
Amy: Tom, is it because the baby is crying at night that you didn't sleep well?
Tom: Yes, I couldn't sleep well because I have to look after the baby at midnight. But I don't want to tell my wife for she is already in a bad mood. I don't want to stress her further.
Amy: You men are like that. You cannot solve the problem by keeping silent. You should talk to your family or friends about your problem.
Tom: I know I should do that. Perhaps I am just not getting used to it.
Amy: Please don't leave the issue unsolved. If for a period of time, you or your wife were feeling down, annoyed, anxious, or despaired. You need to manage the feelings as soon as possible.
Tom: Okay, I will take it seriously.
Amy: Excuse me for being nosy, you should not just focus on childcare and neglect your partner. Try to spare time for each other to cultivate the relationship. Be supportive and show understanding for each other. If needed, let your family take care of your baby for a short while.
Tom: Thank you, Amy.
Narrator: Parents should learn to accept that many things could not be changed. Life changes arising from the birth of the baby will bring stress to your family members which might lead to negative emotions. So it is important for couples to support each other while sharing responsibilities. If negative emotions linger on, manage them early. If there are difficulties in controlling emotions and there is no apparent family support. You can seek help from the professionals.
Scene: At accident and emergency department of a hospital, May is crying, mother-in-law of May hugs and strokes over May's shoulder and takes a sit with May slowly.
May: It is my fault. I didn't take good care of our baby and he has a fever now.
Mother-in-law: Don't be silly! Please don't blame yourself.
Scene: Tom arrives hurriedly; he sits down after seeing them and holds May's hands nervously.
Tom: Darling, mum, how is our baby?
Mother-in-law: Doctor said baby was having a mild fever, it is not serious
May (crying): Sorry, it was my fault.
Tom: No. It is alright! Everyone said you have been taking good care of our baby. He is fine now because you brought him to the doctor in time, right?
Mother-in-law: Yes, you have already done a great job for the baby.
Tom: See, mum says so too. So stop worrying
Scene: May nods her head.
Scene: At home, Susan and May are standing next to the baby cot and looking at the baby.
Susan: Baby has already recovered, right?
May: Yes, the fever is gone. He should be fine now.
Susan: So let's not wake him up. Let's go outside to look at his new photos.
May: Okay.
Scene: Susan and May leave the room after stroking the baby, then sit on the sofa, hold and watch photos happily.
Susan: You see, baby is growing fast!
May: Yes, Tom takes pictures of our baby often so baby could see them when he grows up.
Susan: With Tom here taking good care of the baby, you don't need to be worried.
May: Right, when I was having the baby, I felt happy and hopeful. However, I am not happy after the baby was born, I often feel tired and down. Although, baby is fine this time, I am still worried. I don't know what to do. Why am I acting this way?
Susan: The same thing happened to me when I gave birth to my first baby. Luckily, my husband spotted that out and brought me to the Maternal and Child Health Centre. The doctors and nurses taught me a lot of ways to overcome negative emotions, they are very useful…
Scene: May is writing on the reminder cards on the desk.
May (Narrator): I realised that there are many ways to reduce negative emotions. First, think positively, you can write a reminder card and praise yourself, I am a responsible mother and have been doing well. Praise yourself, for example, I am good at feeding. Write your strengths on these reminder cards and look at them daily.
Scene: May looks at the album, computer, text message of mobile shows “Darling, let's stay together happily every day”.
May (Narrator): Think of those happy moments by looking at old photos, letters, emails, and phone text messages and think of the people that you feel grateful to.
Scene: Susan and May chat while sitting. Scene switches to show May lying on a sofa, closing her eyes and practicing breathing exercise and imagining green trees, grass and sunny beach.
May (Narrator): Susan has also taught me to pause when the negative emotions appear, remind myself to stop the negative thoughts and slowly take some deep breaths to calm down and relax. Imagine going to your favorite places for a walk such as a woody park, or a sunny beach. With the help from Susan, I learnt how to remind myself.
Scene: May talks to the baby while changing diaper ; May looks at mobile pleasingly.
May (Narrator): When negative emotions appear, I will think I am actually luckier than a lot others. I know how to bathe, feed and change diaper for my baby. Seeing how cute my baby is, all the efforts become worthy.
Narrator: Most negative emotions are related to irrational thoughts. So if you want to change or challenge them, do not fall into cycles of self-blame and regrets.
Heading: Chapter 5 The importance of building parent-child relationship
Scene: Tom and May are communicating with the baby respectively, Tom changes diaper for the baby at bedside while talking to the baby; May carries the baby and sings to the baby face to face; Tom stands next to the baby cot, talks and sings to the baby who lies on the cot.
Tom: Let's change your diaper. Feel a lot more comfortable, right?
Tom: Ah, right, he talks!
Tom: Right? What is the matter?
Scene: May is cutting vegetable in kitchen while the baby is crying. Mary turns back and looks. Tom stays in the living room and looks around, then he goes to the kitchen.
Tom: Darling, baby must have wet his diaper, let me change it.
May: No, baby wants somebody to be with him.
Tom: Really? Let me have a look.
Scene: May and Tom go to the baby room, the baby stops crying. Tom takes a look at the diaper, then he picks up the baby. They talk to the baby happily.
Tom: Darling, you are right! The diaper is not wet.
May: I told you. Baby, daddy still can't distinguish your cries. What do you want? Show and teach him.
Baby (Narrator): Daddy, you are wrong again. But as long as you pay more attention to me, you will know what I need. I am still small; I could only use cries to express my needs. When you listen carefully, you will know that different cries represent different needs. If you respond to my cries immediately, I will feel safe and I would know that when I am feeling uncomfortable or scared, you will always comfort and protect me.
Narrator: Research has shown that a child who has close and stable relationship with their parents will have better interpersonal relationship in the future and their problem-solving ability is also higher, with better learning performance and they would become more responsible parents. Therefore, since the baby is born, parents need to develop a close relationship with him and give immediate responses to his needs. Gradually, a trusting and intimate parent-child relationship will be developed. It will provide him with a sense of security, to help him explore the world and be independent.
Heading: Chapter 6 Supportive services in the community
Scene: Tom and May is holding the baby and talking to a nurse in the Maternal and Child Health Centre. The screen intersperses with different scenes including day crèche for children, Kindergarten-cum-Child Care Centres and Free Referral of Local Domestic Helper hotline of Local Domestic Helper Scheme.
May: Nurse, my baby is almost 5 months old, can he start eating cereal porridge?
Nurse: Mrs. Wong, according to the suggestions of World Health Organization, baby can start to eat solid food when they are around 6 months old, so to maintain a balanced diet.
Baby (Narrator): From birth to 5 months old now, mum and dad attend the Maternal and Child Health services with me regularly. If they have any questions, they would ask the doctors and nurses there for help. The doctors and nurses are all very nice!
Tom: Nurse, my mother is planning for a vacation overseas. I am worried that nobody will take care of my baby in the daytime.
Nurse: Don't worry. If family members are not available, you could seek help from the day crèche for children aged under 2 years old. For children from 2 to 6 years old, they could enter the full-day Kindergarten-cum-Child Care Centres or use the Occasional Child Care Services when needed. Besides, Mutual Help Child Care Centres are available in your neighbourhood, which provide occasional child care to children from 2 to 6 years old. If you would like to hire a domestic helper, please feel free to enquire at the Employees Retraining Board. Here is some information for your reference.
Scene: Nurse gives leaflets of different services to Tom and May.
Tom: Thank you, nurse.
Nurse: You are welcome.
Narrator: For information on Child Care Centres, Mutual Help Child Care Centres, Occasional Child Care Service and other social services, please feel free to ask the doctors and nurses in the Maternal and Child Health Centres.
Scene: Tom and May carry the baby and sit on a couch, they look at sunset and play with the baby.
Baby (Narrator): If you could remember these tips and seek help when there are any difficulties. Mum and dad, you can also become happy parents. Thank you mum and dad!
Narrator: If there are any questions on areas, such as feeding, immunisation or child development, please feel free to ask the doctors and nurses in Maternal and Child Health Centres. Maternal and Child Health Centres also provide a series of Happy Parenting Workshops for parents of children under three years old. If there are difficulties on emotion control or other family distress, you could also seek help from the Integrated Family Health Centres in your district.